Adventure Is Out There

No coward soul is mine

244,468 notes

ofgeography:

so here’s a fun story about this movie. guess who loves this movie? me! i do! i love this movie. i love this movie so much that when i was in the 7th grade and i saw “first wives club 2” on pay per view i was like: HELL YEAH!! FIRST WIVES CLUB TWO!! NO ONE TOLD ME THERE WAS A SEQUEL!!!

here’s the synopsis for first wives club 2:

disgruntled first wives take their ex-husbands’ new lovers under their wing.

sounds great, right? awesome viewing material for a precocious 11-year-old.

so i buy this movie, and like, three minutes into it i’m starting to feel suspicious?? like it’s really low quality and my girls are nowhere in sight?? how come none of the first wives are the same?? how come they’re alone in a bedroom with mood lighting?? why is she taking off her shirt?? why are they both taking off their shirts?? WHY ARE THEY—

here’s what i did not know about first wives club 2:

  • it is a lesbian porno of no relation to the beloved 1996 classic.

so of course i, horrified that i’ve accidentally bought porn on my family’s account (and in that state of panic that kids work themselves into whenever anything regarding sex is mentioned), quickly shut off the TV and go upstairs and watch an episode of veggie tales to like, cleanse my soul and apologize to jesus, and that’s that.

EXCEPT, OF COURSE:

  • you have to pay for pay per view.

so the end of the month comes and i have completely put this incident out of my mind, haha, i accidentally bought porn, how funny, TELL NO ONE. right? and i’m sitting at a nice dinner with my mother, my stepfather, and my very religious aunt deb, and we’re just talking about farm things, whatever, when suddenly my mother puts her fork down and says, “okay, there’s something we need to discuss. as a family.”

  • AS A FAMILY.

and i’m like, running through a list of people i know who could conceivably be dead, and fantasizing about my mother announcing that she’s going to buy me My Own Computer Just Because U Earned It Kiddo, and she pulls out a piece of paper that says DIRECTV across the top. and i’m like: OH NO.

"i received the tv bill today," my mother said, and i was like, shoveling potatoes into my mouth as fast as i could because i knew that when i went to PORN PRISON they weren’t going to feed me this kind of quality starch. "does anybody want to tell me who purchased the pornography?"

as a reminder, a quick table survey:

  • my mother, surprised and disappointed by the porn bill (innocent)
  • my stepfather, a grumbly old cowboy who just wants to sing along to kenny chesney and watch the hunt for red october (innocent)
  • my aunt deb, a super religious catholic whose best friend is a nun named Sister Placid (innocent)
  • me, the 11-year-old with a mouthful of potatoes who definitely purchased the lesbian pornography

silence.

my mother said, “i’m not going to ask again.”

silence.

my aunt looked at my stepdad. my stepdad looked at my aunt. NOBODY LOOKED AT ME, THE 11-YEAR-OLD WITH A MOUTHFUL OF POTATOES WHO DEFINITELY PURCHASED THE LESBIAN PORNOGRAPHY.

my mother shook her head and put the bill down. “this was incredibly inappropriate,” she said. “skip, deb, whoever. buy that shit on your own time. i’m not paying for it. what if molly had seen it?”

  • WHAT IF MOLLY HAD SEEN IT?

"don’t expose my kid to that crap."

  • DON’T
  • EXPOSE
  • MY KID
  • TO THAT CRAP

"if you want to watch porn, fine, but do it in private and don’t expect me to pay for it. i can’t believe one of you did that in the living room."

  • I CAN’T BELIEVE ONE OF YOU DID THAT
  • IN THE LIVING ROOM

but molly, why didn’t you own up to it and explain that it was an accident?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • i did not want to go to porn prison

the fun conclusion to this story is that i never owned up to it, which means that there are 3 people in the world who have not solved the mystery of the lesbian porn. a quick survey:

  • my mother, who lives every day wondering whose porn she paid for
  • my stepfather, who probably wishes he knew less about his wife’s sister’s porn preferences
  • my aunt, who probably wishes she knew less about her sister’s husband’s porn preferences

but molly, why don’t you own up to it now, with the safety of time and distance and the knowledge that porn prison isn’t real?

  • are you fucking kidding
  • this is the best thing i’ve ever done

(Source: bellecs)

5,621 notes

i. The first time is when he looks at you as if you’re something valuable, then he says your name and he makes it sound so soft and special that for a split second, you’re convinced it’s the only word he knows.

ii. The second time is when you spend the night together under the stars, laughing and crying and talking about things you would never have told anyone. And then you shiver—not because the wind is strong, cold, but because you are suddenly overwhelmed with the sheer spontaneity of it all.

iii. The third time is when you sit next to him at the cinema and he slowly reaches for your hand, and instead of watching the film, your attention shifts to the buzzing space in between your entwined palms.

iv. The fourth time is when he kisses you on the lips, and the moment is too beautiful to be afraid so you forget to ask him why.

v. The fifth time is when he falls asleep on your lap at two in the morning and he looks so beautiful without even trying, and you smile because you finally realize that somewhere in the middle of it all, the boy with the ocean eyes have taught you how to drown…in love.

vi. And the thing is, you don’t even bother to swim your way up.

a catalog of intimacies (via uniquecole)

(via bycnadal)

215,423 notes

wall-maria-around-ba-sing-se:

smaug-official:

wicked-mint-leaves:

naoren:

filmeditor16:

official-sokka:

thats-not-a-toilet:

korrastyle:

OH SHIT

is this why the show was taken off nick?

So this is what air benders can do. Sucking the air out of people’s lungs. Just as cool as lightening bending if you ask me

No I don’t think you guys understand this is frightening

Airbenders are pretty much the most powerful benders. A firebender has to create fire. A waterbender is most powerful on the open seas as much as an earthbender is on land. But air is literally everywhere.
The Air Nomads weren’t dangerous because they chose not to be.

you’vE GONE TOO DEEP

Hey, HOLD UP.
While I agree that Airbenders do have a lot of power at their exposure, they aren’t the only ones.
Waterbenders can bend any type of fluid containing water, even blood inside the human body! That’s pretty fucking metal.

They can also take the water vapor out of the air, use their own sweat or even drain the water out of every living thing nearby. 

Imagine that ^^ happening to a person..
Next we have fire, the element of destruction. Like Airbenders, they can use the air around them, and transfer it into energy. Firebenders can bend or generate anything fire/ heat related.  That means lightning, flames, or extreme heat that has the potential to shape its environment (such as melt molten rock and metal.) Even fire breath!



Next we have Earth. Earthbenders can bend anything related or comprised of Earth, such as metal, rock, dirt, sand, etc. EVEN LAVA. Anything mineral related? You got it. Admittedly, minerals- although extremely easy to come by, are not as present as water or air. But there sure is enough to make use of, and we can’t say Earthbenders aren’t powerful!

This guy just stopped a volcano. 

Not only are they powerful, but they are also graceful. 

And I mean look at this! Avatar Kyoshi Earthbends a freaking continent in HALF!

In conclusion, fear all benders. 

FRICK, AMON WAS RIGHT

wall-maria-around-ba-sing-se:

smaug-official:

wicked-mint-leaves:

naoren:

filmeditor16:

official-sokka:

thats-not-a-toilet:

korrastyle:

OH SHIT

is this why the show was taken off nick?

So this is what air benders can do. Sucking the air out of people’s lungs. Just as cool as lightening bending if you ask me

No I don’t think you guys understand this is frightening

Airbenders are pretty much the most powerful benders. A firebender has to create fire. A waterbender is most powerful on the open seas as much as an earthbender is on land. But air is literally everywhere.

The Air Nomads weren’t dangerous because they chose not to be.

you’vE GONE TOO DEEP

Hey, HOLD UP.

While I agree that Airbenders do have a lot of power at their exposure, they aren’t the only ones.

Waterbenders can bend any type of fluid containing water, even blood inside the human body! That’s pretty fucking metal.

image

They can also take the water vapor out of the air, use their own sweat or even drain the water out of every living thing nearby. 

image

Imagine that ^^ happening to a person..

Next we have fire, the element of destruction. Like Airbenders, they can use the air around them, and transfer it into energy. Firebenders can bend or generate anything fire/ heat related.  That means lightning, flames, or extreme heat that has the potential to shape its environment (such as melt molten rock and metal.) Even fire breath!

image

image

image

Next we have Earth. Earthbenders can bend anything related or comprised of Earth, such as metal, rock, dirt, sand, etc. EVEN LAVA. Anything mineral related? You got it. Admittedly, minerals- although extremely easy to come by, are not as present as water or air. But there sure is enough to make use of, and we can’t say Earthbenders aren’t powerful!

image

This guy just stopped a volcano. 

image

Not only are they powerful, but they are also graceful. 

image

And I mean look at this! Avatar Kyoshi Earthbends a freaking continent in HALF!

image

In conclusion, fear all benders. 

FRICK, AMON WAS RIGHT

(via kevilafire)